Friday, June 18, 2010

Reflections

( This post was written while I was travelling from Ahemdabad to Mumbai on Shadabti express. )

It's funny how a thing happens, when you don't care about its happening anymore or it just does not matter. Today I travel by a train after a very long time. For 3 years, someone used to tease me about me not traveling by train and about me being delicate. And now that I finally do, it just does not matter.

I have had a crazy crazy last six months. It feels like a blur now, the kind you have just after alighting from a roller coaster ride. It had everything exams, results, interviews, acceptances, rejection , relationships, joys and agonies. So much happened that I still cannot believe all these things happened in six months. There were moments when I thought I had everything and then there was time when I had nothing and just an exam staring at my face.

It's strange but the phrase that things look calm when you are in the eye of the storm is actually very true. Sometimes one surprises himself the way one reacts to situations. The way one acts. One either lets himself go, sits down and sulks and blames the world or one just discounts everything that happened and tries to take a seemingly impossible task to forget what all happened. I don't know why I chose the later. Perhaps I needed to escape from everything, from everyone. Perhaps I needed to redeem myself. For whom, for what - I don't know. But for last 2 months, the only constant thing in my life was the exam. And yes it did help me ( sorta) not think or feel about what all happened previously.

But the thing about discounting everything is that sooner or later everything comes back to haunt you. Its like storing your baggage in a closet, but the baggage remains there always. And one day you will have to take it out. A funny thing happened, when I finished the exam. I still had one more hour left for submitting the papers. And I don't know why, but I reflected upon the last six months. It was like a film which played in my head and again I don't know why but I smiled, for no reason.I just smiled :). It is said that when you laugh without any inhibitions, it is then that you have made your peace with everything. I smiled :).

Its a start, A start.


PS: By the way, train journeys are awesome fun! :P

( This is a personal post, so the comments have been blocked for this one. )